U Can't Catch Fish

You can't catch fish!
You can't catch fish!
You can't catch fish!
You can't catch fish!
I-I-I-I gotta little story, about a city boy,
Dat came to Wisconsin, up from Illinois,
So he could enter, de big fish contest -
It's a thousand bucks cash fer de biggest and de best!
But I told him - guy, yer makin' a mistake -
Ya don't stand a chance catchin' fish on dis lake,
Cause Hey!  You can pray, want, or wish,
But lemme tell ya somethin' guy - Ya can't fish!
 
I told ya der guy!  Can't catch fish!
Whatta ya think yer doin'?  Can't catch fish!
Fer Cripes Sake!  Ya can't catch fish!
Go back to Illinois, hey!  Can't catch fish!
Brand new motor, and boat,
Wit a bunch o' fancy gear, cripes sake, you know it!
And Lures!  Every style, type and size -
If ya think that'll help, yer in fer a surprise,
Cause money - can't buy skill,
Ya know de guys and me, we can catch 'em at will!
Against Shad-Rapp, Ya ain't no match -
Fish are just somethin' that - Ya can't catch!
Fer cryin' out loud, guy!  Ya can't catch fish!
What da heck you doin'?  Ya can't catch fish!
Jeez, guy!  Come on!  Ya can't catch fish!
Gimme a rod, and reel,
And take a step back so I can show ya the deal
How it's done!  Now check this out -
I'm catchin' crappie, sauger, perch and lake trout,
Or walleye.  And pike.
Take a few notes while I show ya what it's like
To throw, a cast -
And ten seconds later I was reelin' in a bass!
And you could never, catch a bass like this,
Cause lemme tell ya somethin' guy - Ya can't fish!
I'm tellin' ya hey!  Ya can't catch fish!
Ya can't catch fish!
I gotta bite!
Stop!  Miller time!
You don't know what yer doin',
Yer brains must be manure.
Ya don't use a bobber
When yer castin' wit a lure.
But when you thought you got one,
Ya had ta go and brag - 
You fought it fer an hour,
Even though it was a snag.
Then you finally hooked a musky,
And I said it's about time -
But you didn't know how to set your drag
And de fish took all yer line!  Can't catch fish!
Yeeeeeeaaaahhhhhh, guyyyy! Ya can't catch fish!
Go hire a guide, hey!  Ya can't catch fish!
For cripes sakes!  Ya can't catch fish!
Hey!  I told ya so!
Another bite!
Stop!  Miller time!
You thought that you could beat us,
But I knew you'd never win -
Cause yer from Illinois
And we're from Wis-Con-Sin.
I know ya wanna argue,
But guy, you know I'm right,
Cause we filled up all our stringers,
And you haven't got a bite.
Well you came and lost de contest,
Cripes sake!  I told ya so!
Ya better pack your gear, get the heck outta here
And back to Chi-ca-go!  Can't catch fish!
Can't catch fish!
Ya can't catch fish!
That's right, guy!  Ya can't catch fish!
I told ya, der!  Can't catch fish!
Listen to Shad-Rapp!  Can't catch fish!
Just stay in Illinois!  Can't catch fish!
Stop!
 

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