Turkey Killer

I kill turkeys - that much is true,
They call me turkey killer cause o' what I do.
But it was tough, learnin', to bag a big Tom,
I didn't find out on the web on Turkey Killer.com!
I had to put in time to learn dat skill,
It took a few years before my first kill.
So if ya pay yer dues, you'll learn to see,
You can be a turkey killer - like me.
Well it was 5am and I was up and on the loose,
Had to get myself set before they came off the roost.
I was dressed like I came off an army base,
With a full camo suit and a camo-painted face.
Sneakin' through the woods like a green beret,
I found the spot I scouted last night, der hey.
I set up my blind, behind a tree,
So I could see them, but they couldn't see me -
It was spring - and all the hens were busy feeding,
But I was after gobblers that were interested in breeding!
As the sun came up, I grabbed my little helper -
A one-of-a-kind wooden mouth call yelper.
Over the years, I learned to master the call,
If there were gobblers around, I'd fool 'em all.
It might sound sneaky, and you think that I'm jerky,
But ya gotta be sly to bag yourself a big turkey!
I was sittin' in my blind as I worked my call,
In hopes to lure a big bearded Butterball.
Yelp, yelp, squeal, then a cluck, cackle, cutt -
A pit-pit pur, and a pit-purr putt.
Then onto the scene came this big daddy male,
Struttin' in a rut, and cold flashin' his tail.
Ya had to see the size of this gigantic Tommy -
His neck was as thick as a slab o' salami!
He must of heard my yelpin' and was lookin' for a mate,
But instead of a hen, that turkey met his fate.
What a trophy - the payoff for my Plannin',
So I raised up my Custom-made, Short-barreled Cannon -
Then boom - that gobbler was dead,
Four pellets in his neck, another three in his head!
I kill turkeys - and now you know it's true,
They call me turkey killer cause o' what I do.

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