Shad - Yo Charlie! Gimme a taste! Gimme a taste o' that north woods bass!
General (by Shad) Well Crimeny Cripes. Holy Frights. Crimeny-cripe, cripe-crimeny, I'm about to introduce myself right now - my name's Shad Shawalski. Well what yer about to hear right now is about a group o' guys, And you might have seen us on a lake, in de woods, or at de Friday night fish fries. We come from all around de state as the masters of our trade, And huntin' and fishin' competition is how us guys get paid. We're Shad-Rapp! And we challenge anyone to an outdoor sports contest, Cause if there's a gun or a rod involved, without a doubt we're de best! Well, now ya gonna hear how we hunt deer, drink beer and catch trophy pike! So now it's time to move down de line, and I'm a cast Charlie de mic!
Charlie Now what de hey! Fish filet! Ugly stick, Ice pick, Ice auger! No matter what the time o year I'm catchin' perch, walleye & sauger! Or when it comes to bass - I kick ass, I catch 'em right and left, left and right, And you better feel sorry for any fish that would dare put up a fight! Even rough fish- you want 'em I got 'em, I'll find 'em wherever they are, I'm talkin' sheephead, bullhead, rock bass, carp, even alligator gar! Ya might have seen me at de walleye fest as de contest first place winner, Throw a cast with a Mr. Twister curly worm on a rig with a Little Joe Spinner. There's no doubt around I wear the walleye crown and when I take my catch down, De taxidermist knows it's because of me that he's the richest guy in town! I soak my bait in beer, cast it off de pier and reel 'em in like a snap, But enough about me, comin' up, can't ya see, it's the eligible Earl Crap!
Earl Well an E-A-R-L, to the C-R-A and P, My name is Earl Crap, and I'm from Shad-Rapp, I gotta license to hunt on me. When I hunt small game I like to take aim at them feisty little squirrels, But when it comes to huntin' trophy game, I'm at de tavern trappin' de girls! I've been told I'm de most wanted bachelor, all around dese parts, And all dem women in de taverns you know, I'm busy breakin' der hearts. On a date wit a girl wit a 6-pack o' beer, we're down by de lake a strollin', But when I really want to impress my date, we'll get dressed up to go bowlin'! I like de girls that won't complain, no matter what I do, And that includes me barfin' up Blatz or spittin' out a wad o' chew! For all you girls that like my style it's you I'd like to meet, So get up here, put yer hands in de air and daaaaance to de beat!
Al Schlovatchschlovitz, a fish sandwich, gotta big beer belly gotta feed it, The only thing better than shootin' game is cookin' it up to eat it. I like kraut wit my trout, curds wit my birds, but I'll eat anything you got, And my favorite phrase that'll make my day is "Charlie's got a Johnsonville brat." I shoot woodcock, grouse, rabbit, squirrel, I shoot deer and I shoot turkey, And all da game dat I bring home gets processed into jerky! Tater tots, Haagen Dazs, late night snacks make me happy, But what I really like at 2 a.m. is a beer and some pan-fried crappie. Holy smokes, no more cokes. Barley yeast, malt and hops, Cause beer goes great wit everything and tonight it's venison chops. Oh choppy-chop, loin chop, rump-chop, backstrap wienie Deer parts makin' me hungry now so I'm a pass da mic to Sweeney
Sweeney Well I'm de B-Y-R-O-N, ya know, and it's my turn to go, crimeny-cry, Cause de S-W-E-E-N-E-Y would like to say "Hey, Guy!" All right everybody, I'm Byron Sweeney, a name you might well know, You might a seen it in a record book, or de credits of a huntin' show! Now ever since I was a baby boy, "12-Guage" was my nick-name, And when de other kids were eatin' baby food, I was gnawin' on a piece o' game! I grew up shootin' every wild animal dat came within my sight, And I figured out how ta clean a deer before I could even read or write! From pluggin' ducks to snipin' bucks, I got records across the state, I can kill wit a gun, bow, knife or bare hands, and that's why I'm so great. So if you ever get de chance to hunt wit me, ya better take it - you'll wish you had, But there's a guy who can fish as good as I hunt and here he is - his name is Shad!
Shad Well Holy Crap Snap swivel, Flip it an' reel - An' listen up guy cause I'm a tell ya the deal About me - The Shawalski - A.K.A. S-H-A-D. Now I am known around de state as the one and only pike master, And I can win any tournament - I cast farther and reel faster. I don't need all dat fancy gear - Cripes-sake der guy you know it. I gotta 20 horse Evinrude outboard motor on a 15 foot John boat! I never got a snag, I have to brag, cause I just can't be so subtle, Cause I can catch a pike in any river any lake - Heck I'll even catch one in a puddle! Now whatever I get, it's catch and release, but let's keep one thing clear, It's not that I care about the fish that much, its cause my live well's filled wit beer! Well we're Shad, Charlie, DJ Sweeney, Schlovachlovitz and Earl Crap, When it comes to any outdoor sport you know de champs'll be Shad-Rapp!!!